Lauer Accuser Says the Fallout Nearly Killed Her

Brooke Nevils says the fallout from accusing Matt Lauer of rape nearly killed her. In an excerpt from her upcoming memoir, Unspeakable Things, published by the Cut, the former NBC talent assistant describes a downward spiral after she reported the ex-Today show anchor in 2017. Nevils alleges Lauer anally raped her during the 2014 Sochi Olympics, an accusation he has denied. Nevils recalls thinking, "If anyone else had done this to me, I would have gone to the police," per USA Today. She didn't even consult with an NBC-employed doctor because "I was surrounded by people whose careers, like mine, were dependent upon Matt's success." Simply put, "his point of view was reality, and if you disagreed with it, you were wrong."

Soon after the alleged rape, Nevils claims Lauer again coerced her into sex at his apartment in New York. She says she continued to have sexual encounters with him, including once initiated by her, believing she could take back control. But "I just implicated myself in my own abuse." She says she confided in a small circle of people but portrayed the relationship as consensual, only later coming to label it assault amid the broader #MeToo reckoning. She went to NBC after learning journalists were investigating Lauer. After filing the complaint, Nevils says she kept working at NBC for a few months before taking what became a permanent leave.

She was "compulsive, paranoid, and drinking all the time," feeling she had "ruined everything," Nevils writes, noting she became suicidal and was admitted to a psychiatric ward. Nevils says she has since "painstakingly rebuilt" her life, and is now married with two children. She describes her book, out Tuesday, as one she wishes she had to help her process her own alleged rape and the aftermath of speaking out. Only a small fraction of sexual assaults are ever reported, she writes, and "the process of coming forward is still, broadly speaking, nightmarishly complicated and often self-defeating." "I was just one woman," she adds, "and nobody's ideal victim."