weird crimes

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Memo to Bank Robbers: Penmanship Counts
Bank Robber Foiled by ... Lousy Handwriting
DUMB CRIMINALS
Nov 17, 2011 1:18 PM CST

Bank Robber Foiled by ... Lousy Handwriting

Man channels Woody Allen, writes note that teller can't read

(Newser) - A would-be bank robber in Wheeling, West Virginia, needs to put Woody Allen's Take the Money and Run in his Netflix queue. Police say a man passed a note to a teller, but she couldn't decipher it and thought it was a joke, reports WTOV . "It took...

Man Pretends To Be Illegal Immigrant to Skirt Jail

He was deported to Mexico instead

(Newser) - It’s not every day an American citizen gets charged with pretending to be an illegal immigrant, but that’s what happened to one Utah 27-year-old this week. The man was originally arrested for dealing drugs in February 2010, the Salt Lake Tribune reports. He told the judge he was...

Guy, 83, Busted for Prostitution

Victim says he wanted her to repay loan by letting him perform sex acts

(Newser) - The most recent entry in the Unlikely Crimes category: A City Council candidate from Centerville, Iowa—who just happens to be an 83-year-old man—was arrested and charged with prostitution. The 33-year-old victim accuses Ben Clifford Dawson of offering to let her repay a loan by allowing him to perform...

Roomies Foil Beer-Seeking Burglar

Fight breaks out in Chicago apartment

(Newser) - A burglar broke into a Chicago apartment looking for some beer; instead, he got a kick in the groin and criminal charges for his trouble. Early Saturday, Timothy Snyder, 36, allegedly banged on an apartment door, burst in, and went straight for the refrigerator, the Chicago Tribune reports. He hadn’...

Domino's Managers Torch Papa John's: Cops

The pair allegedly built an ignition device but didn't use it

(Newser) - Talk about taking your job a little too seriously. A pair of Domino's Pizza managers in Lake City, Florida, have been charged with burning down a rival Papa John's Pizza franchise, the Ocala Star-Banner reports. Police arrested one manager, Sean Everett Davidson, 23, on Thursday, and say he...

Woman Goes Directly to Jail After Monopoly Attack
Woman Goes Directly to
Jail After Monopoly Attack
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Oct 30, 2011 7:03 AM CDT

Woman Goes Directly to Jail After Monopoly Attack

Laura Chavez allegedly stabs boyfriend after boardgame gone wrong

(Newser) - Monopoly and going directly to jail have never combined in such a literal fashion: A 60-year-old Santa Fe woman went straight to you-know-where after allegedly stabbing her boyfriend following a game of Monopoly gone wrong. Police say Laura Chavez copped to attacking the 48-year-old man last week with a kitchen...

Man Calls 911 on Woman After Girlfriend Comes Home

He falsely reported her as a burglar, say cops

(Newser) - When 24-year-old Keith Gaylor called the cops to say that an armed burglar was trying to get into his house, five squad cars rushed to his house and made an arrest. But they released the suspect pretty fast after hearing her side of the story—they’re pretty sure that...

Another Drunk Dad Has 9-Year-Old Drive: Cops

Parents: If your kid can count his age on his hands, he's not a designated driver

(Newser) - A few weeks ago, a boozed-up father had his daughter climb on a booster seat and take him shopping ; now childhood designated-driving is turning into a quasi-epidemic. A Wyoming man visiting Orlando felt he and his wife had had a few too many on Saturday, so he instructed his son,...

Texas Woman: Man Hit Me With Frozen Armadillo
Texas Woman: Man Hit Me With Frozen Armadillo
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Oct 23, 2011 11:42 AM CDT

Texas Woman: Man Hit Me With Frozen Armadillo

Argument arose over price of animal, which woman wanted to eat

(Newser) - This may very well be the weirdest thing you’ll read all day: Dallas police are on the hunt for a man who is accused of attacking a woman with a frozen armadillo. The Sept. 29 altercation occurred in the parking lot of an apartment complex, where the 57-year-old was...

Boozing Dad's Designated Driver: His 9-Year-Old

...who needed a booster seat to reach the steering wheel

(Newser) - Before you applaud a boozing guy for getting a designated driver to take him to the store around 2am on a Saturday, know this: said alternate chauffeur was his 9-year-old daughter ... who was sitting on a booster seat. The Detroit News reports that Shawn Weimer, 39, bought her a candy...

Thief Swipes Obama's Teleprompter

Truck containing $200K of equipment stolen in Virginia

(Newser) - He took the words right out of Barack Obama's mouth—sort of. A thief (or thieves...) in Henrico, Va., made off with a truck that just so happened to contain the president's teleprompter, podium, related audio equipment, and, should he have been unclear on just who he...

Beer Thief: I Wasn't Stealing, I Thought I Was in Heaven

Man tells police he actually thought he was dead

(Newser) - An Illinois man apparently believes the rivers are made of Heineken beyond the pearly gates. The TribLocal reports that the 46-year-old came upon a refrigerated beer trailer containing kegs inside and taps on the outside on Tuesday at a banquet hall in Buffalo Grove. He also came upon a pitcher....

Father Attacked 'Lazy' Son With Sword: Police

Men were in fight over skipped chores

(Newser) - An argument over chores got way out of hand yesterday in California: Antonio Gutierrez, 43, is accused of pulling a sword on his 18-year-old son after an argument with the teen about being lazy around the house. Gutierrez was arrested after allegedly attacking his son, John, whose hand was cut...

Police Chase Woman, 76, for Miles—at 10mph

Cops form blockade to catch elderly driver

(Newser) - British cops spent more than an hour yesterday in hot pursuit of an elderly lady ... who was driving under 10mph. Police pursued Caroline Turner, 76, for 17 miles after she went the wrong way in a traffic circle, the Daily Mail reports. She didn't stop when police turned their...

Man Concocts Worst Murder Scheme Ever
 Man Concocts Worst 
 Murder Scheme Ever 
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Oct 2, 2011 7:00 PM CDT

Man Concocts Worst Murder Scheme Ever

...and ends up going to jail for another murderous plot

(Newser) - A New York man has been sentenced to prison for trying to hire someone to run down his ex-girlfriend, who he abused. Not bizarre, right? But Clyde Gardner's original murderous plan was quite bizarre, notes the AP . His idea was to: Kill a bear. Then skin it. Then don...

It Was Not a Good Week to Be a Dog
It Was Not a
Good Week
to Be a Dog
Sep 21, 2011 3:32 PM CDT

It Was Not a Good Week to Be a Dog

With humans like these, who needs enemies?

(Newser) - Brace yourself, dog lover: The world is full of cruel people, as evidenced by two odd animal crimes that happened in the last week. My Fox Dallas reports on a domestic incident that turned deadly for a Maltese named Diego on Saturday night. A couple reportedly got in a fight...

Amish Men Jailed Over Buggy Ruckus
 Amish Men 
 Jailed Over 
 Buggy Ruckus 
in case you missed it
Sep 17, 2011 11:46 AM CDT

Amish Men Jailed Over Buggy Ruckus

They were fined over lack of safety sign, refused to pay

(Newser) - Eight Amish men in Kentucky have begun serving time in jail—all over a bright orange triangle. The men were issued fines over their failure to display a safety sign on the backs of their horse-drawn buggies, but refused to pay, along with associated court fees. They explained that forking...

Guys Take Dead Buddy for Night Out

Denver men paint the town red with corpse in back seat

(Newser) - A Denver man wasn’t going to let a dead roommate ruin his night. When Robert Young, 43, arrived home to find his roommate unresponsive last month, he called on a still-living friend—and the two of them hauled Jeffrey Jarrett’s body into the backseat of a car, police...

Bumbling 'Gumby' Bandit Surrenders

And police keep Jacob Kiss' suit

(Newser) - Jacob Kiss, otherwise known as the guy in the Gumby costume who epically failed in his quest to rob a San Diego 7-Eleven last week, is still not winning. Kiss, 19, turned himself in to police yesterday, accompanied by alleged accomplice Jason Giramma, also 19, who was pictured in the...

Woman Calls Ex 65K Times
 Woman Calls Ex 65K Times 
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Sep 11, 2011 7:15 AM CDT

Woman Calls Ex 65K Times

...in a single year

(Newser) - Fatal Attraction, much? A 42-year-old Dutch woman apparently had a very, very hard time letting go of her former boyfriend ... or his phone number. Prosecutors claim she called him 65,000 times in the last year, and are charging her with stalking. Spaced over 365 days, that's 178 calls...

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