Nikki Glaser went hard then eased up in her monologue to open Sunday's Golden Globes, the AP reports. In her earliest jokes she suggested stars in the room might be in the Epstein Files and took a shot at CBS, the network airing the show. "There are so many A-listers, and by A-listers, I do mean people who are on a list that has been heavily redacted," she said. "And the Golden Globe for best editing goes to the Justice Department." She segued into mocking the recent woes at CBS News and its killing of a critical 60 Minutes story about the Trump administration sending immigrants to a prison in El Salvador. "The award for most editing goes to CBS News," she said. "Yes, CBS News: America's newest place to see BS news."
She didn't bring up Venezuela, a subject she told the Associated Press this week she was considering mentioning, but worried it would already be old news in the chaotic moment. And there was no mention of ICE. Glaser also told the AP she was struggling to find a joke about Julia Roberts, saying she was so beloved and respected that nothing Glaser tried with her comedy club test audiences was landing. She ultimately found a way to come at it sideways. "Just like the podcasters nominated tonight, I should not be allowed to be this close to Julia Roberts," she said, and got the big laugh she was looking for.
She also made the obligatory joke about Leonardo DiCaprio dating young women. "You've worked with every great director. You've won three Golden Globes and an Oscar," she said. "And the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30." She then went meta and apologized for being so obvious. "Leo, I'm sorry I made that joke, it's cheap. You know what, I tried not to, but like, we don't know anything else about you, man. Like, there's nothing else, like open up!" she said, getting a bigger laugh than she did for the first joke, especially from DiCaprio himself.
Of DiCaprio's fellow nominee for One Battle After Another, Sean Penn, she said, "Everyone in this town is obsessed with looking younger. Meanwhile, Sean Penn, is like, what if I slowly morph into a sexy leather handbag?" And she seemed to pull half the room into her final mega-joke. "Guillermo del Toro, keep making weird monster sex movies," she said. "James Cameron—keep making weird monster sex movies. Emma Stone and Yorgos Lanthimos, keep making wonderfully bizarre movies together and go harder. I want Emma Stone playing a piece of toast with epilepsy." It went on and on, with lines including "Paul Mescal and Jacob Elordi, keep being the same person to my mom, OK?" It was Glaser's second time hosting the show. She was quickly rehired after getting strong reviews in her first outing last year. (Click for the night's winners, or red carpet looks.)
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