Therapists Are Sick of Your Therapy-Speak

Couples therapy sessions are starting to sound a lot like TikTok, and for many therapists, that's not a compliment. As the Atlantic reports, clinicians say a growing number of partners are arriving armed with "therapy-speak" picked up online—terms like "gaslighting," "narcissist," "trauma bond," "boundaries," and "attachment style"—and applying them to nearly every relationship disagreement. Social media has turned complex psychological concepts into everyday vocabulary, often stripped of context or nuance. Therapist Jonathan Alpert said he increasingly sees routine conflicts reframed as abuse. "Let's say one person forgot to pick up groceries or didn't accurately recall a conversation; the other would say, 'Oh, you're gaslighting me. This is psychological abuse,'" he said.

The problem, according to nine couples therapists interviewed by the Atlantic, isn't that people are learning about mental health; it's how confidently they're using simplified, social-media versions of diagnostic language to label their partner. True narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and bipolar disorder are relatively uncommon. But therapists say clients now walk in convinced their partner fits one of those diagnoses because an Instagram post, TikTok video, or online checklist of symptoms felt uncomfortably familiar. Once those labels enter the conversation, progress often stalls: If one person is framed as "the problem," there's little incentive to examine mutual dynamics or individual behavior. Therapists also trace the trend to pop psychology and individual counseling, where concepts meant to encourage self-reflection get repurposed as verdicts.

Inside the therapy room, many clinicians now spend sessions peeling buzzwords back to basics, encouraging couples to describe specific behaviors and unmet needs instead of reaching for diagnostic shorthand. Outside the office, social platforms reward emotionally charged content, and misleading mental-health advice often spreads faster than nuance. A recent Washington Post investigation into TikTok's mental-health ecosystem found that algorithms can trap users in reinforcing loops of questionable information. As psychiatrist and researcher Anthony Yeung put it, "The algorithm says, 'Well, you like this video about ADHD, even though it's misleading, let's give you another video,' and it becomes this very vicious feedback loop of misinformation."